Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Bob's Burgers Burger Book: Don't Get Crème Fraîche With Me Burger

When I picked this burger, I thought it was just weird enough to work.  It turns out I was right, but I needed to call in the reinforcements to make it work.

Hence, the tag "Dennis Saves the Day" was born.  Since I met him, I've called Dennis "MacGyver," because he has this innate ability to...fix stuff.  In weird ways.

The first thing I ever saw him MacGyver was a metal cabinet.  We worked together a hundred years ago, and he had this metal cabinet that wouldn't stay closed.  He also had this big calendar magnet.  So he folded the magnet in half and used it to keep the door closed.

Simple right?

Holy crap!  That never would have occurred to me.  So I eventually married him and now he MacGyvers things all over the house.

All that being said, these burgers almost didn't happen.  My last burger was delicate, but flippable.  These?  They just crumbled.

"Did you put bread crumbs in them?" Dennis asked.


(They needed more.)

To be fair, the recipe tells you (told me) that they would be delicate, but I underestimated it.

So they stuck to the pan and I pouted and Dennis fixed it.  There was only one that was pretty unsalvageable.  The one on the right in the picture below.

I don't know why this picture won't center correctly.  These burgers are just out to get me.

For the recipe, I upped the amount of breadcrumbs, because these burgers are kind of impossible without it.  Delicious, but impossible.

 Don't Get Crème Fraîche With Me Burger
Makes 4 burgers


1 cup blueberries, washed and mashed with a fork
3/4 cup breadcrumbs (at least.  Use your judgment.)
1 lb. ground beef
1/3 cup chopped basil
1 cup Crème Fraîche (I got mine at Trader Joe's)
4 rolls
1 bag spring salad mix

Mix the blueberries, breadcrumbs, and beef together.  NOTE!  The blueberries are going to make these burgers super moist.  For real.  Be careful when you're forming these patties, because there's a good chance they will ruin your day.

Form 4 patties.

Salt and pepper both sides of the patty.  (You may want to salt and pepper one side of them and then do the other side when they're already in the pan and you flip them over.)

Cook the burgers to your preferred doneness.  (At least 160°F.  Be careful.  They will fall apart.  They will.)

Mix the basil with the crème fraîche.

Build your burger in this order:  bottom roll, salad mix, burger, basil crème, top roll.

Enjoy your perilous burger.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Bob's Burger's Burger Book: Never Been Feta Burger

There are occasions when I see advertisements for TV shows, and I think "That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life."

I had that thought when I first saw the ads for Bob's Burgers, and I continued that thought until I started watching it on Netflix like a month ago.  And now I'm hooked.

If you don't watch the show, I should explain the chalkboard.  In each episode, there's a chalkboard with the burger of the day written on it.  They're all puns, and in the first couple of episodes, Louise,  the youngest daughter of the titular Bob changes them to be more obscene than you'd expect in a family burger restaurant.

(Case in point, she changes this one to be the Foot Feta-ish Burger.  Also, I'm planning on being Louise for Halloween.)

So this guy, Cole Bowden, started a blog where he invented burger recipes to go along with the burgers on the board in the background.  The creators of the show loved it, and brought in real chefs to work with the guy and create a cookbook.

And that's where this burger comes from.  It's freaking delicious, and I apologize for the lack of ingredient photograph, but I didn't know I'd be blogging it when I made it.

Also, the Sriracha is optional, but definitely use it!  It gives the burger a nice kick.

Never Been Feta Burger
Makes 4 Burgers
From The Bob's Burgers Burger Book


4 oz. crumbled feta cheese
1 lb. ground beef
1/2 cup yellow mustard
1/4 cup mayonnaise
4 small rolls
A couple handfuls of arugula
Salt and pepper
Olive oil (for cooking)
Sriracha (Optional, but not really)

Heat a few glugs of olive oil in a medium-sized frying pan over medium high heat

Combine 3/4 cup feta with the beef and make 4 patties.  Season both sides with salt and pepper.

Cook the burgers until they reach at least 16­0°F.  Be careful when flipping these, because there's no binder (egg, bread crumbs, etc.), so they're fragile.  It's completely doable to cook them, though -- mine didn't fall apart.  (That didn't happen until the next recipe.)

Mix the mustard and mayo together in a small bowl and spread the mixture on the tops of your burger buns.

How to build the burger:  Bottom roll, arugula, burger, feta, a little Sriracha, top roll with the mustard/mayo mixture on it.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Another "I'm Not Dead!" Post

So, I'm still kicking.

It's been exactly 6 months since my last post, and that wasn't even about food.  It was about me thinking I was going to become some kind of world traveler and stay in Air BnBs along the way.

(That didn't happen?)

So what have I been doing while I've been neglecting this poor blog?

1.  I got a new job!  I moved from account management at a software company to being a Technical Writer Manager with a government contractor.  My commute went from 42 miles to 1.5 miles.  With the extra time, I was able to...

2.  ...finish writing my book!  I don't know that I've mentioned it here before, but I've been working on a novel for like 4 years.  I finally finished it a couple of months ago, and I have a little bit on interest in it from real, honest-to-God Industry People.  It's super exciting, and maybe one of these days, you'll see it in a bookstore, and you can say, "Hey, I remember when she was just writing that blog she never updated!"

3.  I've been trials and tribulations.  Everyone has them, so I know you know what I'm talking about.  Everything's fine, but it was just...trying for a while.

4.  I'm putting the pieces in place to open an Etsy shop!  More details later, but I'm pretty excited about a new venture.

5.  I find myself a member of 3 book clubs.  I have no idea how that happened.

6.  I've been obsessed, obsessed, with Hamilton.  So obsessed.  I listen to it every day.  If you haven't heard it, you need to.  It's available for streaming on Amazon Prime, and I've learned more about history (and pseudo-history) in the last couple of months than I ever did while I was in school.

7.  I've been doing a lot of freelance work.  So I haven't been writing here, but I've been writing.

7.  I've been rewatching Desperate Housewives, as well a binging Bob's Burgers.  Have you guys watched Bob's Burgers?  What an odd, hilarious little show.

Speaking of Bob's Burgers, the cookbook inspired by/from the creators of that show is up next week!  I swear.  Check out my Instagram for a sneak peek of one of next week's burgers!

Here's to getting back into the swing of blogging. 

So what have you guys been doing in the last 6 months?